It has Been a long summer. One without my fill of jazz hands, Matthew Morrison's white-boy rapping and bullet proof head of hair, Jane Lynch's venom and the sight of perky twentysomethings singing hits Originally written by men with alcohol and drug habits That would make Motley Crue Blush. It's Been a long sad summer.
In the interim, Ken Tanaka has Been Replaced by a new football coach, a Monstrous-looking woman named Shannon Beiste (pronounced Beast) Ken is sucking up the budget for Both the Cheerios and the GLEE club. Sue and Schuster, in a rare alliance, decide to join forces Thurs stop shim.
Their antics are pure 'Mean Girls, "wakes up such" strikes a nerve Beast With Coach (Especially coming from rumored nice guy Shue), she breaks down and cries in the locker room. The rest Was Written long ago: Turns Shue is Sue once Beast CALLS him out for Being a jerk, and Sue Vows Revenge.
Before I get to the performances, some quick bullet-points:
-Rachel now has a set of Bangs here I am considering, at least that many for this week, ITS own character.
Puck-got a vasectomy That somehow hamper Continues Thurs at his Mohawk-Growing abilities in Addition Thurs at his procreative ones. He's also still hung up on Quinn.
-Santana got a boob job over the summer, wakes disgusts Sue and Causes Her to demote Santana and reinstate Quinn as head of the Cheerios. The way Sue phrases it - "a girl has Ken Thurs nonnies pump her full of Gravy Thurs feel good about herself clearly what doesn't not have the self-esteem to Be a cheerleader in my head '- kind of Makes it sound legit.
-It 's a match made in The Camp (really). Tina has dumped Artie (NOOOOOOOO) and Taken up with Mike "The Other The" Chang, ie, It Seems Henry Shum Jr. Actually will not have lines this season. Artie, That poor fool who is, thinks He'll Be Able Thurs compete with Mike if they Makes the football team. Coach Beast is none-too thrilled.
-The Cheerios culture apparently now includes Pagan worship and eating live animals. It was really only a Matter of time.
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